Campaign 2010

Jan 15, 2013

Suggested Agenda Items for House Republican Retreat

Tea Party House Republicans are gathering later this week in Williamsburg, Virginia for their Republican Retreat. This retreat comes after weeks of record low poll numbers, unparalleled dysfunction and unbelievable extremism that have rankled the Republican ranks. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee wanted to offer our advice and suggestions for the agenda.

“Tea Party House Republicans have had a rough month – from the fiscal cliff to Hurricane Sandy, an attempted coup to an upcoming debt default – they’ve been unable to explain their extremism and dysfunction to the American people,” said Jesse Ferguson of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “We have a few suggestions for House Republicans that might make their next month a little bit easier.”

 Suggested House Republican Retreat Agenda Items

  • Have breakfast paid for by lobbyists
  • How to stop talking about “legitimate rape” and insulting women.
  • Science 101
  • Creating tax breaks and tax shelters for millionaire campaign donors
  • Math course on counting to 218 votes
  • A primer on the stock market crash of 1929 and how you could be responsible for the next one.
  • Coup d’état prevention and planning.
  • Trust falls
  • Big-picture thinking
  • Practice interacting with women and minority voters.
  • How to increase our approval ratings: What root canals, traffic jams, cockroaches and head lice are doing right.
  • Remedial hurricane recovery
  • Your inner Tea Party and you
  • Have dinner paid for by lobbyists