Campaign 2010

May 17, 2004

Hastert Contest

Roll Call gives us a contest:

Name That Speaker. Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), a man of few words, has apparently written down enough of them to fill a whole book.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Hastert’s memoir will be published in August, giving him time between the two party conventions to hit the publicity circuit and, perhaps, await a call from Oprah’s Book Club.

Given that he has led the House through the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the Iraq war, the final episode of “Friends” and plenty of other drama, you’d think he’d select a title that would get the reader’s heart racing.

So what is the Speaker going to call his book? (Drumroll) ... (wait for it) ... (here it comes) ...


While that title is refreshingly direct, as well as absolutely accurate, HOH firmly believes that Hastert and the good folks over at Regnery Publishing could have come up with something a bit more creative. Apparently Hastert hasn’t signed off on the manuscript yet, so there’s time to make some changes.

That’s why HOH is proud to announce the first-ever “Give Denny Hastert’s Book a Better Name Contest.”

Send your ideas to, and the best suggestions will be published in an upcoming column. Please keep it clean, folks, because Roll Call is a family newspaper. HOH is also sure that there will be lots of uses of the words “coach,” “team” and “teamwork,” so be sure to use your imagination.

I’m inclined to believe he left it at “Speaker” because he didn’t have much to show for himself except some pitiful stonewalling for an administration that would soon humiliate him by bald-face lying to him about costs on the transportation bill.  Have fun.

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